Beer Steak Bullshit

I scarcely ever watch American Idol, but Lisa Lampenelli makes me want to get into it again. That chick’s the tits. Jay Leno had Simon Cowell as guest on his show and added Lisa Lampenelli to the mix later on, who totally stole the show. The woman’s insane, just the way I like it. She basically did not shut her yap and kept spewing funniest shite I’ve seen in a long time.

I particularly liked at the beginning when she took a breath and unleashed her ode to hot piece Simon Cowell. Quoting Lisa Lampenelli:

“Why do people watch American Idol? Simon Cowell! Am I right folks? Please! Who are they going to watch? Randy Jackson? Please… that fat bastard. He looks like the chef from South Park. And that Paula Abdul… OMG – everybody’s good, everybody’s good. Bitch, pick the three guys you wanna bang this season, tell the rest they stink.”

How can you not like that woman. She’s hilarious and very witty. Added great amount of energy to otherwise mundane Jay Leno show. Video worth watching, check it out.

It’s long weekend here in Canada and I just thought I’d screw it up for you with some truly awful singing. This is Guylene Rosange and her absolutely mindblowing performance singing My Heart Will Go On song by Celine Dion at X Factor 2008 auditions.

At least I think this was an audition, don’t tell me the actual X-Factor features star performers like Guylene Rosange. I don’t really watch that shit, I find Simon Cowell seriously obnoxious but at least the X Factor doesn’t have that super obnoxious Paula Abdul.

So Guylene Rosange gave it a try. I don’t think it quite went for her as she would ahve imagined and rightfully so. She truly was singing notes that have not yet been invented, as Simon Cowell said. Let’s just hope Celine Dion doesn’t get to see it or she’s gonna stab herself in the head with pencil.

Guylene Rosange is out of X Factor 2008, may the best singer win. Damn…

Kara who? Kara DioGuardi? Who the f%&k is she again? Or better yet - who the f%$k she was, cause we know who she is now. Kara DioGuardi is new American Idol judge. That’s right, Kara DioGuardi will spend the eight’s season of the American Idol (premieres in January 2009 on FOX) sitting on a judge stool right next to the likes of Paula Abdul and other creeps - Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson.

Kara DioGuardi Profile - What is she known for?

Kara DioGuardi is a singer and songwriter with quite a career, just nobody knows about her. At least not unless you listen to some of the gayest music. Look at the list of artists Kara DioGuardi collaborated with - Christina Aguilera, Kelly Clarkson, Gwen Stefani, Carlos Santana, Celine Dion, Faith Hill, Enrique Iglesias, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Clay Aiken, Jonas Brothers and more. They all could get together and film gay porn.

Kara DioGuardi also did two songs for “Cheetah Girls 3: One World” - movie soundtrack. The songs were titled “Cheetah Love” and “I’m the One”.

Cecile Frot-Coutaz, Producer of American Idol says they’ve wanted to have four judges straight from season one. I guess Paula Abdul’s gonna freak out now that she’s got competition. Congrats to Kara DioGuardi for joining the crazy team and becoming an American Idol Judge.