Beer Steak Bullshit

When Portland, Oregon police officers pulled over a car driven by Kevin Signalness, they found him with his pants unzipped and a pornographic magazine laid on the passenger seat. Kevin Signalness admitted to masturbating while driving. I wasn’t aware of any law prohibiting masturbation during driving, but judging by the mugshot, it is illegal and the masturbating driver was taking in by the police before he could wreak havoc on the road making sure he milks his member dry.

You know, at one point in my life, I saw a vibrating vagina with power connector that plugs into a car lighter. It was intended for car drivers so they could enjoy an intimate moments while still keeping their hands on the steering wheel. I’d say Kevin Signalness needs one of those.

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Canadian Globe and Mail newspaper published results of the study focused on discovering the most and the least stressful jobs as conducted by Erich Dierdorff – assistant professor of management at DePaul University. Without further ado, let’s get right down to the lists of both most stressful jobs and least stressful jobs:

List of Most Stressful Jobs

• Police officers
• Fire fighters
• Family or general practice physicians

List of Least Stressful Jobs

• Taxi drivers
• Insurance adjusters
• Bank tellers

By looking at the lists, you’re probably thinking the same I was thinking – yet another bullshit study that proved absolutely nothing. Just as majority of studies before. Or family or general practitioners I have known in my life took 6 week vacations 5 times a year. They work 4 day workweeks and come to work 2 hours late anytime they feel like. How is that effin stressful?

On the other hand taxi drivers often struggle to make ends meet and have to navigate in shitty traffic dealing with potential dangers of gang activities and pimping in the world outside. How is that not stressful? This study proved a big pile of shit.

The only thing potentially relevant about this study were the work/family conflicts. After studying people in 126 professions, Erich Dierdorff found that those from the most stressful job list faced much more conflicts in personal lives and those from least stressful jobs list faced the least conflicts in personal lives. The conclusion was that jobs with high levels of interaction contribute to increased stress levels yadda yadda, which basically makes entire study laughable because the jobs of the least stressful jobs list are all jobs that are based on constant interaction with others. All I can say about these lists is – FAIL!

Stressful Job Image by http://frixedairwave.deviantart.com/

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Mickey Goodwin – 50 year old boxing legend and the winner of The Golden Gloves from 1975 was bludgeoned to death in his home. Melvindale police confirmed that dead body of Mickey Goodwin was discovered at about 5pm inside a home on Ruth Street in Melvindale where he lived with his mother.

After ending his career of a professional boxer, Mickey Goodwin went to become a boxing trainer at Kronk Gym in Detroit. His professional boxing record stands at 42-2-1, with 28 wins by KO, however he never won a championship belt.

The police have made no arrests, but are asking for citizens who may have witnessed anything to give them a call. This is pretty sad – bludgeoned to death in his own home? Damn… RIP Mickey Goodwin

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You know you’re a redneck when… In this video, poor dog fell through thin ice into freezing cold water. Smarter than humans, dog did the best thing he could – nothing. Most death associated with falling through thin ice are because of drowning. At first, your body experiences major shock which could lead to an attempt for a big gasp of air. If you’re surrounded by water, you’re gonna fill your lungs with it and drown immediately. If you survive this initial shock and don’t drown, you can try to return to the part of the ice from where you fell in (it should be strong enough as it held you up to the point where you fell through), shake your legs so you get yourself to as horizontal a position as you can and try to slide on to the ice. Sometimes it doesn’t work and if first few attempts to get out fail, you will likely get your body to the point at which it doesn’t have enough power to get itself out of there. In such case, you must wait for help. It will take on average a few hours before cold water kills you. Put your hands on the ice and try to get someone to call help or throw you something to drag you out of there.

The dog in the video did exactly that – realized he could not spring himself out from the water on the ice, so he just waited. Despite my lecture on how not to kill yourself if you fall through thin ice, this video is not about it. It’s about stupid family that went overboard after their dog fell in cold water and third party rescue was needed.

Basically, first the moronic dad doesn’t appreciate the presence of the police. What were they supposed to do – they did not have the equipment to save the dog safely without sacrificing their own life. That’s always the idea of every rescue mission – make sure you don’t become a victim yourself. The police showed up, assessed the situation but found themselves unable to help with the equipment they had. They adviced the owner to wait for proper rescue team. The owner did not appreciate that and started yelling and pushing the officers. Into all that, his wife starts acting like a cunt and gets feisty with the news cameraman and the police too. What a fucking white trash family.

Watch the video for yourself – incredibly ungrateful family. I feel sorry for the dog. I wish they could find him a better family.

PS – you may need to fast forward to a 0.40 second mark of the video. The beginning is just a neverending notice that the video contains vulgar language.

45 year old Mark Betts screwed up and now he’s dead. Plain stupidity. Dude got thirsty, walked into a liquor store, grabbed a couple of bottles and bolted for the door without paying. Dedicated liquor store employee tried to stop the robber, but Mark Betts was more dedicated to quench his thirst. He pulled up a club and liquor store employee – wisely – gave robber way, but notified the police.

Cops got on the case and located the truck Mark Betts was driving. After a little car chase between Ponderay and Colburn Culver Road, Bonner Co. Sheriff’s deputies in cooperation with police forced fleeing robber off the road. Being stuck in a ditch, unable to drive off, Mark Betts opened the door opened fire with a hand gun. Damn idiot… what was he thinking?

The police returned fire shooting Mark Betts to death. It all went down on July 7, 2008. The police dash cam video that captures last moments of Mark Betts’ life was only released now.

The prosecutors from the Bonner County ruled the shooting justified after reviewing that dash-cam video and decided that there will be no charges filed against the officers. Bonner county Sherriff Elaine Savage also said the shooting was justified. Where do these people live? The county is close to a “boner” and sheriff is savage! Must be Idaho…

The names of deputies who fired on and killed Mark Betts were also released: Lt. Gary Johnston, Mitch Parnell and Phil Stella. In my opinion they did a good job and had their lives on line as well. You don’t pull a gun on a cop. Period!

What a dumb ass though. Shooting at cops for a drink? He just robbed a mother-fucking liquor store. He should have given up right there and get away with a fine or maybe short jail time. Now Mark Betts is dead with skull resembling an Edam cheese. Dumbass.

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Meet 17 year old Marche Taylor from Houston, Texas. Marche wre this cute and elegant yellow dress to her high school prom at the Sugar Land Marriot but she never made it in. Instead she ended up handcuffed all as result of confrontation with school officials who said her dress was skimpy.

I don’t know about you, but that’s one hell of an awesome dress. Look at it. Marche Taylor is 17 year old for crying out loud. this was her high school prom night. All 17 year olds want to look sexy and hot and all want a dress that’s out of your ordinary cut. What a stupid way to destroy young lady’s prom. Great job, Madison High, great fucking job…

To sum up event leading to Marche Taylor’s handcuffing – the chicka came all smiling to the Sugar Land Marriot where her high school prom was taking place. The senile and likely sexually inept officials from Madison High School told her that she’s wearing skimpy dress and will not be allowed in. Marche Taylor began to argue (what else was she supposed to do, she was looking forward to her prom and you are now telling her she can’t go in) but because school officials were not ready to compromise, she offered to wrap herself up some more so as to cover up her skimpy bits. That still didn’t work for school officials and she was not admitted inside, this time because she was not wearing any underwear (I’m seriously starting to like this chick – she was totally getting ready for a great night with her random stranger she was going to pick at the after party).

Seeing there was no way for her to get in, Marche demanded refund. The argument escalated to the point that the cops were called in and instead of having a kick ass prom night with no panties on, Marche Taylor ended up handcuffed and escorted form the premises. Someone then managed to snap a pic of her being taken away by the police with her hands in cuffs.

Marche said she designed this dress herself. I’m kind of skeptical on this one, but damn… you got all the good stuff going on here – skimpy dress, no underwear, handcuffed by the cops. What a prom night to remember. She should take advantage of this publicity and start her own fashion line. She can call it – dress for prom you will never forget.

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