Tag Archives: Ryan Seacrest

Katrina ‘Bikini Girl’ Darrell and Kara DioGuardi on American Idol (video)

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Katrina 'Bikini Girl' Darrell and Kara DioGuardi on American Idol (video)

Are you ready to see the worst video of your life? Major American Idol failure by the name of Katrina Darrell who became known as the Bikini Girl after she auditioned for American idol in the bikini returned on the stage of American Idol to torture people’s eardrums some more, but this time she added another torturous element so not only your ears suffer, but also your eyes – fake tits. Ho must have got popular or something cause she decided to swap her boobs with a pair of nasty silicone bags. Not ever Ryan Seacrest was impressed with her fake tits. but then again – he’s just not impressed with tits in general. He dreams of cock. Katrina ‘Bikini Girl’ Darrell should have got her voice fixed instead of her tits cause that’s just as painful as it was before.

As Katrina ‘Bikini Girl’ Darrell started with her painful performance, she was joined on stage by American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi who kind of proved her point that she can sing better than Katrina Darrell. Kara even opened her robe at the end of performance to show her own bikini body which again – was hotter than Katrina Darrell’s. This was just not Katrina’s best day. She was humiliated beyond belief and hopefully sent back to where she belongs – a whore house.

The video of Katrina ‘Bikini Girl’ Darrell av Kara DioGuardi face off is below. I’m sure Mariah Carey whose song Vision of Love these two butchered is grasping a butcher knife watching this awfulness.

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Jordin Sparks Singing Battlefield on American Idol (video)

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Jordin Sparks Singing Battlefield on American Idol (video)

Jordin Sparks is a perfect proof that only truly awful singers ever win American Idol. Having won season 6 of the American Idol, Jordin Sparks was invited to perform on the popular singing contest by Fox Television and it was painful. Jordin Sparks was singing a song Battlefield which is a new song from her and I could not have listened to anything more irritating before going to bed. Not only is Battlefield musically worthless, the singing of Jordin Sparks that goes with it makes it torturous.

As announced by ever so gay Ryan Seacrest, Jordin Sparks was joined on stage by Ryan Tedder, the vocalist from OneRepublic who played piano for Battlefield. Ryan Tedder allegedly wrote and produced Battlefield so he’s just as guilty of creating awful music as Jordin Sparks for adding her irritating voice to it. Duh. Check out the video of the excruciating performance below:

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Kelly Clarkson on American Idol – Pregnant or Just Fat?

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American Idol continued with another episode of awesomeness and ever so awesome Ryan Seacrest brought back a former idol – Kelly Clarkson. Kelly shows up on stage looking… well – fat. That immediately sparked speculations that Kelly Clarkson could be pregnant. She’s not pregnant, folks. She’s just plain fat. Besides, she told it to the microphone that she’s not dating anyone anyway. You’d think that is someone knocked her up, she’d be all over news telling everyone about it.

Kelly Clarkson performed her painful hit “My Life Would Suck Without You”. I could not listen to that song all the way through. How can she be a platinum selling artist with this type of music? People pay for this? I’m really not sure if it’s Kelly Clarkson to blame for writing painful music, or people for buying it. Just plain awful. But then again – we’re talking about former American Idol.

Check out the video above. I don’t know who’s gayer – Ryan Seacrest or Kelly Clarkson, but her music is definitely painful. And no, she’s not pregnant, she’s just fat.

American Idol Sex Scandal

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American Idol Sex Scandal

Imagine you’re watching American Idol and are ready to give your favorite performer a vote by calling the number provided on the screen. You pick up your phone and dial the sequence exactly as displayed on your tube. Next thing you hear is a woman telling you how much you make her horny and how she’s stroking your cock till you cum all over her big, bouncy boobs. Yeah, sex scandals don’t avoid American idol either. And I’m sure this is not the first, nor the last American Idol Sex Scandal, it’s just the most current. What exactly happened?

According to Ryan Seacrest, who posted this message on his Twitter, the American Idol phone number 1866-IDOLS-13 that viewers of the show should dial in order to vote for their talent is actually a sex phone line. I have never tried that phone number, I prefer internet sex to phone sex, somehow the idea of an unattractive 56 year old talking dirty to you, pretending she was a naughty 19 year old doesn’t excite me, but apparently the number above as well as the one with 00 at the end take the dialer to a sex line where a female voice greets you with:

“Hey there, sexy guy… Hot horny girls are waiting right now to talk to you. Lie back, baby. Relax…”

American Idol Sex Scandal is going to be addressed tonight and new numbers will be introduced. in the meantime, if you’re a parent of underage kids who like to watch American Idol and vote for their favorite, make sure you are around and pretend the phone doesn’t work at least until new numbers are introduced. It would be no fun to have your 11 year old get into a conversation with a lady who makes her living by talking dirty to callers.

Listen to the audio with Ryan Seacrest who uncovers the American Idol Sex Scandal below. It contains the recording from the sex line you would reach if you dialed the number:

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Ryan Seacrest to Replace Larry King

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Ryan Seacrest to Replace Larry King

WTF? Looks like Ryan Seacrest has been giving Larry King some enjoyable prostate massages, because when Larry retires, Ryan is gonna take over the Larry King Show. That kind of means that CNN is going to give everybody who watches TV a prosatte massage. Actually, no… that’s no prostate massage, that’s fucking painful anal tear with no Vaseline.

MSNBC’s The Scoop reports that Ryan Seacrest is sucking CNN cock to get his gay ass on their regular programme and replace Larry King maybe next year. Ryan has already filled in for Larry on a number of occasions and Larry has had himself heard that he would pick Ryan as his successor. Larry has got to seriously love that prostate massage he gets form Ryan.

Seacrest has already forced his ass on American Idol, he’s got his own Radio show and works for E! and now CNN? And Larry fuicking King out of all? What has this world come to?