Beer Steak Bullshit

Elisabetta Canalis is the latest winner of gold digger extraordinaire award for scoring herself George Clooney. Gold digging with George Cloone is a temporary sport anyway. Elisabetta Canalis better make the most out of the moment while it lasts and brace for quick end to it. Clooney’s got that poop down already. I mean look at where Sarah Larson ended up at. Even gold digging ain’t what it used to be. Newbs don’t understand the drill. Here’s a brief lesson for Elisabetta Canalis:

Learn to give best deepthroat on Earth, wait till you’re alone with Clooney, take initiative, undo his pants and suck meanest cock ever. Give blowjob everyone would want more of. Next time you won’t have to undo his pants, the cock will come whipping at you on its own, suck a bit on it, then shove it up your snatch and make sure you don’t let him pull out. You got to get yourself pregnant. Once a kid is born and you have had DNA tests done to prove it’s George Clooney’s, then you can throw a party on Turks and Caicos and live happily ever after.

Get it, Elisabetta Canalis? That’s how pros do it. Once in a lifetime opportunity, don’t blow it, stupid. I mean blow IT, blow it like your life depends on it. BTW, Elisabetta Canalis is an actress. She’s from Italy and is 30 year old. Italian bitches rule. George Clooney has been spending a lot of time in Italy, since he’s got a bad-ass villa on Lake Como and his next movie will be filmed in Italy as well. There’ll be lots of opportunities for snugging between the two. She’ll still get the boot when the time comes, unless she follows my simple tutorial to riches by gold digging. Even though in case of Elisabetta Canalis, I’m pretty sure her previous modeling and acting gigs paid quite well.

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Yes, it’s the same gold digger Sarah Larson who was chewing on George Clooney’s nut sack just last year and yes, it’s the same Ryan Cabrera who was fisting Ashlee Simpson’s prostate yet before that. Yes, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ashlee Simpson had a prostate. But let’s get back to our awesome couple of failed gold diggers – Sarah Larson and Ryan Cabrera.

Sarah Larson had a little bit too much to drink at the Sundance Film Festival in Las Vegas and got all raunchy with half a dozen men. Failed gold diggers seek attention anywhere they can, even if it requires showing 6 dicks in your mouth at the same time. When her pussy-rubbing-against-six-men session was done with, dumb gold digger dumped failed losers and left with Ryan Cabrera. She must have took a smarten up pill later that night to have had dumped failed losers and swapped them for a failed gold digger. Ryan Cabrera’s name at least made it on some sites and magazine pages. What a has been either way.

What the couple of failed gold diggers did together is a big mystery, maybe they’d sat at the round table and had a business talk. next thing we see is a new business formed in Las Vegas. Name of the business? Sarah Larson and Ryan Cabrera school of failed gold digging – have your whoring destroyed the spectacular way.

Sarah Larson pic credit: AP (Associated Press)

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One of the almost most successful gold diggers of all time failed at her cock sucking. Sarah Larson who’s been seen along side George Clooney for over a year and got to live the life of the elite and see the world with him is no longer his girlfriend. The break up was confirmed by a “source” close to George Clooney – whatever that means. One way or another, Sarah Larson failed and is now headed back to work as a waiter from whence she came.

Stupid whore has been with the man for such a long time and didn’t get herself knocked up? What is she stupid or something? She was so close to her cream and fucked it all up. This is the fundamental lesson in gold digging. Once you get lucky enough to get hooked up with an A List celebrity, you work your ass off to get knocked up. Because you are replaceable. There will always be someone hotter who gives better blowjob than you. Collect that cum in your mouth, pretend you go to wash your teeth, spit it in your hand and shove it up your pussy. How difficult is that? Had Sarah Larson done that, she’d have been set for life. Now she’s a has been who’s not gonne get a second chance. Here’s one for you, Sarah – FAIL!

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