Beer Steak Bullshit

If you near pooped in your menstruation pad as your eyes landed on the pictures of the new Miss America above, don’t be ashamed – it happens to the best of us. Afterall, you were expecting to see a beauty pageant contestant, not a horror movie screenshot, right? I understand. Let me explain what’s going on here: Miss Virginia Caressa Cameron has just been crowned Miss America 2010 and I can’t help but ask – were the judges blond (meant to say “blind” originally but “blond” works just as well)? Caressa Cameron looks absolutely horrid, but I surely don’t have to tell you that, you have your own eyes to fill you in.

Who exactly is behind Miss America? It almost looks as though the winner was predetermined by the test the contestants would have gone through prior to the gala. Caressa Cameron looks like she can blow four people at the same time with mouth of that size so she got the vote. I can’t explain her victory otherwise.

Sadly enough, there was no contestant at the 2010 Miss America pageant who would look half decent. No cute girl next door, just slutty stripper pole polishing types who look like they have solid history of crack abuse. Don’t tell me there are no cute girls in America. There must be at least a handful out of over 300 million people. Why do the skankiest looking ones make it to Miss America? It’s disgusting.

Gallery of pictures of horrid looking Miss America 2010 Caressa Cameron is below:

Caressa Cameron – Miss America 2010 photos by Ethan Miller / Getty Images and Steve Marcus / Reuters

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Dear Lord, please send hail mixed with fire, send lice or gnats, send unhealable boils, send eternal darkness upon us sinners, – I could take all that. But how could you allow for world’s #1 skank Ashley Dupre to get a gig with New York Post? And we’re not talking just about any gig, we’re talking an advice column, we’re talking a Relationship Advice Column. Have New York Post gone mad?

You’ve heard that right. Your worst nightmares have come true. Your deprived kids will be sending their concerns to New York Post and will be hearing back from Ashley Alexandra Dupre, a whore who destroyed the life of Governor Eliot Spitzer, a whore who had nothing worthwhile to contribute to society so she was selling herself out to rich men – that whore will be giving your teens a relationship advice.

I wonder who writes these columns on behalf of Ashley Dupre, though. Obviously it’s not her. It’s the same kind of deal as with Barack Obama and his teleprompter. Barack Obama can’t say a coherent sentence without his teleprompter. It’s all just stuttering (though he also stutters with teleprompter). And expecting a prostitute to be any different would be laughable. New York Post obviously knows that so they are only using the mug of Ashley Dupre as the store front due to the popularity the Eliot Spitzer scandal brought upon her skanky ass. Hence an advice column but I highly doubt actual Ashley Dupre could come up with a coherent sentence to keep a column going. But it matters not. New York Post knows most people are not smart enough to figure that out for themselves so the Ashley Dupre relationship column will likely go on for a while. I choose lice or gnats.

Read Ashley Dupre’s Relationship Column on New York Post website HERE

Because I’m such a good soul, I will give Ashley Dupre an advice with a sample of what quality advice column looks like:

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Mariah Carey – the ugliest skank in show-business and the clumsiest attention whore who makes each of her video clips to her worthless music about herself posing up like a 4 year old girl in front of the mirror had a moment on Jay Leno show but unfortunately managed to balance herself up and not fall. Given that Mariah Carey is all kept together by all forms of sticky tapes, should she hale fallen, there would be unidentified pieces of plastic and flesh sent adrift through Lay Leno’s studio. Sadly, she didn’t fall.

I didn’t watch the whole video (seen below), only her failed introduction which is funny enough. No need to spend 8 minutes watching her ugly mug slap around like she’s relevant or shit. It would have been plenty of hilarious if she fell mug first like a fat sack of potatoes she is and splattered on the floor but fairies of fair treatment were on vacation so she collected herself mid trembling. There’s always next time.

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Way to make a name for yourself… Liskula Cohen, a model who appeared on front page of Vogue and modeled for some of world’s top designers, such as Gianni Versace or Giorgio Armani is suing Google because some celebrity blogger who hosts his blog on Google owned Blogger.com called her a #1 Skank. Skank is as skank does. Liskula Cohen is just a fucking desperate attention whore and needs to shut the fuck up!

36 year old Liskula Cohen who’s originally from Toronto lists her relationship status on Friendster as “Single” (check out her profile HERE but mute your speakers unless you want to barf out your breakfast. She’s got some lame music playing there). Obviously, MILF in her mid 30′s who’s still single is going through menopause midlife crisis bitchfest. She just needs a big hard dildo up her ass, that’ll shut her up.

Blogger whom Liskula Cohen is after called her for who she is – an old hag and a #1 skank. He also added that Liskula Cohen is a desperate forty something who may have been hot 10 year ago. I agree with parts of it. Obviously, one part I don’t agree with is a “forty something” comment. Dude, she’s fucking 36. Old hags give good head.

All pissed off and shit, Liskula Cohen is suing Google and wants them to give her the name of the blogger so she can show him she’s not a skank. Good times ahead. Maybe she just wants to track him down so she can milk the shit out of his dick for being the only blogger who still blogs about her. Wait…

Actually, I wouldn’t mind getting sued by Liskula Cohen. It may get me into some real shit, but it could also get me laid. Imagine the press I’d get. Hot bitches would be throwing their vaginas at my face. I’d actually get some real pussy for a change.

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