NY Post Page 6 reports that comic Artie Lange who’s best known for being a Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself nine times in a suicide attempt. How can he stab himself in a suicide attempt? Are there no self preservation mechanisms in Artie Lange’s mind that would prevent him from inflicting pain upon himself continuously with intentions to take his own life? I mean – I can understand someone taking pills, jumping off the building or pulling a trigger of a handgun in their mouth, cause this type of suicide attempt only takes a simple one time action and that should be it. But stabbing yourself? How can you stab yourself and do it repeatedly while you’re at it?
According to Page 6, Artie Lange was discovered bloodied in his Hoboken apartment by his mom who alerted the police by calling 911 and had him taken to a hospital. Surgeons say Artie Lange was bleeding heavily due to excessive stab wounds but they managed to save his life. So now that his life is saved, Artie Lange can chalk this suicide attempt off as another of his life failures. If you can’t even kill yourself properly then you seriously fail at life. Bloody show off.
Artie Lange Photo by Bobby Bank, WireImage
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Today’s hall of famer’s name is… Lai Jiansheng – 66 year old retired soldier who got fed up with indecisive suicidal man and solved his dilemma in style. This is what went down on Thursday May 21, 2009 in China: Lai Jiansheng was on his way to do some personal shit but got stuck in a major traffic jam on Haizhu Bridge in Guangzhou. He went out to find out what the hell was keeping him away from moving on and was told that there’s a guy by the name of Chen Fuchao contemplating suicide. Chen Fuchao has been up there for 5 hours and the police had the Haizhu bridge shut off and looking for the way to help suicidal man out. But Lai Jiansheng was not having any of that cheap crap.
66 year old grandpa Lai Jiansheng climbed up the construction of the bridge, reached Chen Fuchao, shook hands with him and pushed him off the bridge ultimately solving his “to jump or not to jump” dilemma. Grandpa Lai Jiansheng but have watched The Good, The Bad and The Ugly – especially the “When you have to shoot… shoot! Don’t talk!” part with Tuco and passed it on to Chen Fuchao in a little altered form – “When you have to jump… jump! Don’t don’t keep the traffic stuck for 5 hours!” See video reminder below.
After Lai Jiansheng pushed him off the bridge, Chen Fuchao fell 8 meters and landed on a partially inflated air cushion surviving the fall. He’s recovering in the hospital and claims that debt worries were the reason behind his suicide tendencies. While still on the Haizhu bridge, Lai Jiansheng waved at other by passers (that’s when photo above was captured – copyright AP) and climbed down. He was taken to police custody and said that he was fed up with Chen Fuchao’s selfish activity.
According to the police, Chen Fuchao was 2 Million yuan in debt (equivalent to $293,000 US) after his construction project failed. Now he’s gonna be pretty mad at Lai Jiansheng cause he’s alive which means he’ll have to pay off his debts. On the other hand, the bank that loaned Chen Fuchao money or the insurance company which would have to shell out if he went poof will surely appreciate Lai Jiansheng for saving them from losing 2 Million yuan. 66 year old grandma should be getting an appreciation check in the mail soon.
…and an actual video recording of Lai Jiansheng gracefully ending the suicide contemplation of Chen Fuchao:
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Must be tough living on mere $8 Million a year. So tough one would have to commit suicide cause how otherwise was David Kellermann, acting CFO of mortgage monster Freddie Mac supposed to make ends meet? Actually, I made the $8 Million a year figure up, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that was David Kellermann’s annual pay. Afterall, being chief financial officer of Freddie Mac, he was reporting directly to recently resigned CEO David Moffett. Must be tough being Freddie Mac CFO. I’m talking suicide tough.
The news of Freddie Mac CFO suicide is very fresh. David Kellermann was only found dead earlier today. The police received the 911 call at 4.48am and officers were dispatched to a $900k villa in Hunter Mill Estates in suburban Virginia where David Kellermann lived with his wife. At this time there hasn’t been much detail released by the police, but there is no suspicion of foul play, plus David Kellermann apparently left a suicide note.
David Kellermann was made a CFO of Freddie Mac in September 2008 after working for the company for 16 years. When he got the post, it was just after US government had seized control of Freddie Mac following their $50 billion a year loss and gave it a bailout of $45 Million. Way to nominate your CFO, Freddie Mac. Give high paying jobs to suicidals who can’t bear crap. Suicide is for the weak anyway.
As of a few minutes ago, a statement with updates on Freddie Mac CFO Suicide has been released by Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner who said on behalf of the treasury that they are deeply saddened by the new of David Kellermann’s death. No actual updates on how he committed suicide yet.
The song by Ohio born rapper Charles Hamilton about US politician Bud Dwyer that was originally embedded in this post has been removed by the uploader and is no longer available. I apologize for the inconvenience.
Jessie Logan Committed Suicide After Naked Sexting
Jesse Logan had it all and then she screwed up. It’s hard to tell how one should feel with someone who gives blow jobs to all the wrong men and then commits suicide. It’s kind of sad, kind of a waste of pretty flesh and kind of satisfying. This is the story of Jesse Logan, a girl who committed suicide after sexting a naked picture of herself to her boyfriend.
Now let me explain the word Sexting. Do not confuse it with Sex Sting, this has nothing to do with any police operation. Sexing is one of the goodies of modern technology. It allows for cheap hos to take naked pictures of themselves with their cell phones and then send it over to the cell phone of their worthless boyfriends who then sext it to all of their homosexual friends. Easy, right?
That’s exactly what happened with Jesse Logan, only this chick didn’t have enough brain power to comprehend that nobody cares about her hence it’s not a big deal. So what, so your naked tits and beaver will be all over the internet. Have you ever surfed free porn sites? Don’t you know hos like you are dime in a dozen? Nobody would give a poop whether your name is Jesse Logan or what. Show your tits and get the fuck out. That’s how it goes. Sick fucks like me will rub one to your naked pics and we’ll move on to another ho. Case closed.
But no, Jesse Logan took it to her heart, she thought her whole life would have been ruined by having her pics wide spread across the phones of homosexual men and committed suicide. To be honest, I have little respect for pretty faced girls who suck on a peen of worthless guys. There are half decent guys like me who spend their whole lives in a basement jerking off to free on line porn, but pretty assed chicks don’t care about us. They go for stupid morans, who are not only homosexual, but don’t appreciate them, abuse them and then send their naked pictures she sexted to them over to their homosexual friends. Hos who don’t appreciate fine guys from the basement who never get laid, deserve what’s coming to them. Sucking on morans penis will backfire on you sooner and later, and so it did for Jesse Logan.
So yeah, the story of Jesse Logan is simple – she was a senior in Sycamore High School, an 18 year old girl who wanted to impress her homosexual boyfriend. She did it the way stupid teen girls do. Took a picture of herself naked, passed it on to her boyfriends phone via sexting, boyfriend passed it on via sexting to his boyfriends with whom he was cheating on her anyway, homos started to harrass her for seeing her vagina, that lead to Jesse Logan feeling depressed and then hung herself.
The suicide itself was committed on July 3, 2008, right after Jesse Logan had returned from a funeral of another boy who also committed suicide. Kids nowadays are spoiled, I tell ya. Weak deserve no respect. I believe most parishes still won’t bury suicidals and if they do, their grave will be aside from all others, somewhere by the fence.
That’s for the story of Jesse Logan that went from sexting to suicide. Video with Jesse Logan is below and then more pics are below video.
Jesse Logan photo gallery:
Jessie Logan Committed Suicide After Naked Sexting
Jessie Logan Showing Boobs on a Swing Pic
Jessie Logan Mugshot Photo
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Another one bites the dust… on Christmas. John Costelloe, who played Johnny Cakes, little fireman fag who dick massaged prostate of big capo in The Sopranos committed suicide in the basement of his Sunset Park home.
47 year old John Costelloe was a FDNY firefighter who got his break through role in the 2006 HBO series The Sopranos as Jim “Johnny Cakes” Witowski ran a bullet though his head on December 16.
Must have been tough for him to deal with an easy income from acting. Nice Christmas present for your family and friends, John Costelloe. Even a broke loser like me who spends his Christmas by himself cause I suck like that has enough balls to live on. Merry Christmas to you…
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MMA Fighter Justin Levens and his wife Sarah McLean-Levens were found dead earlier today in their home in Luguna Niguel, Southern California in what looked like murder-suicide. Sheriff’s spokes bitches confirmed to the Associated Press that the department is investigating the case but so far all the clues lead them to believe that it was in fact a murder-suicide. That’s pretty fucked up if that’s the case.
Roids are evil, get it? It made Chris Benoit commit Murder-Suicide one and a half year ago in a highly publicized case and now it looks like another fighter (this time around a real fighter, not a wrestling joker) Justin Levens may have committed the same and took his wife Sarah McLean-Levens to the land of eternal win with him. Mother of Sarah McLean-Levens alarmed the police after she’d found the couple with gun shot wounds.
Justin Levens is a MMA veteran who known for his UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) and WEC (World Extreme Cagefighting) fights. He was scheduled for the first Affliction card earlier this year, but the event was postponed and Justin Levens was later found positive for Oxymorphone. He was suspended from professional fighting till Jan. 15, 2009.
Justin Levens was 28 year old (born in Philadelphia on April 18, 1980), his wife Sarah McLean-Levens was 25. Damn
