Beer Steak Bullshit » Vagina

Five Women, Ten Vaginas with Tyra Banks

Happy — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:43:59 +0000

I don’t get it: How is Tyra Banks still allowed to be on TV? She’s as lame and irrelevant as Tila Tequila. And also as ugly and stupid. She seriously needs to go away for good and while she’s at it, she can take those five fake attention whores who claim they have two vaginas each with her. I’m all for pretending shite for views, but this is ridiculous. Five women and ten vaginas – year right. And she didn’t notice it for years – year right. And her husband claimed her virginity doing her in that spare vagina – give me a break. I understand that the Tyra Banks show is intended for dumb losers with no brains, but are they really this dumb? Could some morans seriously think that there were five women, but ten vaginas in a studio with Tyra Banks? And why was Tyra Banks pulling off that stupid face the whole time? Could it be that she’s the one with five vaginas so the numbers in fact work – ten vaginas, five guests. One guest = one vagina, one Tyra Banks = one brain with ten Swiss Cheese type holes in it mistaken for five vaginas?

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Andes Teletransporter – We Need Those in Canada

Happy — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 21:20:51 +0000

Andes Teletransporter is an invention of a genius. It saves relationships and adds quality to man’s life. It could only be better if it came with complimentary blowjobs from hot Argentinean chicks. The premise of Andes Teletransporter is to create a believable ambient sound so you can shut your irritating girlfriend down when you are having a blast with your buddies. We all know girlfriends are worthless pieces of flesh around a vagina but unfortunately those worthless chunks of flesh can talk and dial numbers on cell phones. That creates a whole different level of discomfort for a concerned man who is minding his own business, enhancing quality of his own life his girlfriend doesn’t care about. Andes Teletransporter to the rescue.

When you see your worthless girlfriend calling you after you have already busted your nut on her face and just want a beer with buddies afterwards, walk into an Andes Teletransporter, select an ambient sound best suited for your needs and shut her down by telling her you’re in a hospital or looking after your little nephew or whatever else works. Shut stupid ho down, end the phone call, walk out of Andes Teletransporter and enjoy the rest of your wonderful day. The only question now remains – how come we don’t have those in Canada? All Canadian bars should be equipped with one or more of those. It should be mandatory. Life would be so sweet. And ban female drivers while you’re at it so a man can get to and from the bar safely.

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Duck Penis is a True Unfolding Monster (video)

Happy — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:22:38 +0000

It was big enough a surprise for me to find out that ducks have penises, but the fact that their penis is often longer than their entire body – that’s too much already. What do ducks need a monster penis of such dimensions for? Life’s not fair. The particular specimen of Argentine lake duck (Oxyura vittata) seen in picture above had a 42.5 cm long penis.

Only few male bird species have penises. Ducks belong among the few. Duck penis looks like a corkscrew and unfolds in chunks to reach the size of almost half a meter. The mind-blowing video below shows the process of an unfolding screw penis coming out of a duck. Duck ladies obviously have massive vaginas if their male counterparts sport a penis that’s this big. And why is it so twisted? Do they screw themselves into the lady duck? Duh!

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Miranda Kerr Hot Body Rules in Bikini Pictures for Victorias Secret

Happy — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:24:05 +0000

I love chicks who have big gap between their thighs. Any woman who puts her legs together and you would still fit your fist between her thighs because her general vaginal area is that wide are the poop. Chicks like that have well developed pubic bone and make for excellent bumper when thrusting missionary style. Miranda Kerr is like that. While any hot vagina model who poses for Victorias Secret loses browney points for being a Victoria Secret model, it does pay for something being able to see the uber gap between her thighs.

Miranda Kerr’s hot body rules even though I don’t particularly care for her face. I’ve never noticed it until the last minute. That bikini body rules the shite though. Nice, tight little ass and flat stomach – how can you go wrong?

Gallery of pictures featuring Miranda Kerr and her hot body that rules in Victoria’s Secret bikini is below:

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Teri Hatcher Shaves Pussy (Triathlon Pics)

Happy — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:05:16 +0000

Remember when Teri Hatcher was a hot dish and every man dreamed of getting in her pants? Yeah, me neither. It must have been a pretty long ass time ago. Teri Hatcher is now an old, overused and warn out piece of lose snatch that nobody desires to see naked yet she pulls this publicity stunt exposing her shaved pussy before the cameras of the paparazzi. What is she shaving her pussy for anyway? It’s disgusting. It reveals the lose skin around her general vaginal area and makes it look like she’s got warts on her vag. Gross.

Pictures are from the Malibu Triathlon. Kudos to Teri Hatcher for pulling the triathlon off even though her pussy suggests she could be just about 90 year old or so. However old she is, she can do the triathlon and that’s pretty bad ass. Shaving one’s snatcher when you’re this old and pulling off your underwear to reveal it should be illegal, though.

Pics of Teri Hatcher by Mavrix Photo

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Kendhal Beal – Doug Reinhardt Left Paris Hilton for This Plastic Ho

Happy — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:04:59 +0000

This mash-up contains so much idiocy I don’t even know where to start. Paris Hilton got into a food fight with Kendhal Beal – blond ho from the photo above. Kendhal Beal is a nobody, a wannabe model and a wishful actress and by the looks of it, she’s ready to throw her vagina at any direction from where she could embark on her journey to becoming a publicized ho. Her wish was partially granted when Doug Reinhardt came her way.

Doug Reinhardt was at the time a boyfriend of Paris Hilton but sheer elegance of plastic blondie Kendhal Beal bewitched him and moron started dreaming of nirvana engulfed in Kendhal’s pussy juices. We all would have no idea anything like that went down, but it appears sources of Paris Hilton knew that and when Paris met with Kendhal face to face in LA’s Darkroom Club, the encounter turned into a food fight. That’s right, two blondes food fighting over Doug Reinhardt. Only one of the blondes is actually rich where as the other one is simply plastic. Paris Hilton wins.

23 year old wannabe model from , Houston, Texas claims that Paris started it and threw ice and fruit at her while calling her all sort of nasty names. Doug Reinhardt probably never buried his face into Kendhal Beal’s vagina. He was simply seen hanging out with the company of friends and she was there too. If that’s really the case, then Paris Hilton had just helped a clueless wannabe model to fast forward her non existent career. What more could Kendhal Beal wish for. She’s just a plastic looking blonde who had no life before her. Now she’s talked about all thanks to Paris Hilton. What blessings.

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Jason Trawick Hits Britney Spears in the Vagina Again

Happy — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:34:36 +0000

Rumors of who Britney Spears is rubbing her vagina with are very popular. When it comes to her agent Jason Trawick, the rumor of the two dating are nothing new. The same rumor hit the websphere the same time last year – maybe it’s an annual thing. Check out “Jason Trawick – Closer Look at Britney Spears Agent” for more info on last year’s alleged romance.

I was curious though – anybody knows what happened to Sundip Soparrkar? There was a big boo boo that he was throwing his penis into Britney Spears’ vagina about 6 months ago and somehow it got all forgotten. I thought that was something serious yet nothing again. Jason Trawick is a repeated romance. If it didn’t work last year, I doubt it will work this year. It’s likely just another over inflated story after the two were seen dry humping each other. Dry humping sucks, you just wet your pants with excitement juices but no semen comes out cause it’s not good enough.

Anyway, in the latest release of Jason Trawick dating Britney Spears rumor it is said that this time around it’s serious and that daddy Spears loves the guy. If daddy spears approved, the penis can go into a vagina. Nothing makes it to Britney Spears’ vagina unless Daddy Spears puts his seal of approval on it.

PS – yea, I’m back from my 10 days long trip to Iceland so there will be updates again. The trip was epic… did you miss me?

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Brittny Gastineau Near Nip Slip

Happy — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 09:02:39 +0000

You’re probably thinking what I am thinking – who the eff is Brittny Gastineau. The answer is simple – who cares. She’s got paparazzi around her and her dress delivered near nip slip. It’s really weak, it’s not an actual nip slip as you can’t see no damn nipple, but there’s a hint of areola and that’s about as close to work not safe as I can get with otherwise work safe Beer Steak blog, right? You all work hard, you’re always at work so we need to keep things SFW. Anyway… Brittny Gastineau!

Brittny Gastineau is a daughter of former NFL player Mark Gastineau. As if being a daughter of the player in the gayest and most boring sport in the world wasn’t embarrassing enough, Brittny Gastineau forced her ass on the reality show The Gastineau Girls that aired on E! So basically she’s a nobody and nobody gives a crap. Except from me right now, cause I just found out Brittny Gastineau was born on November 11. Do you know what that means? That means that she’s a Scorpio, just like me. She probably gives mean head and has vagina with teeth (vagina dentata). Scorpios are the tits in bed.

The picture of Brittny Gastineau with near nip slip were taken last year just as she was on the way to her birthday party (yeah, in November) at the nightclub Villa in Los Angeles. Get this, her boyfriend Richard Voll was with her. How embarrassing is that? You don’t drag your boyfriends to birthday parties? You should get laid on birthday. Besides, chicks who have boyfriends plain suck. There is nothing more frustrating than a chick on whom you’ve been hitting telling you that she had a boyfriend. Well, grow up. Get rid of him so guys like me can dip my mean penis into your juicy vagina, Duh!!

Brittny Gastineau picture gallery containing near nip slip is below. High res pics available, just click it till you see it.

Brittny Gastineau photos by MAVRIXPHOTO.COM

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Sandip Soparrkar – New Boyfriend of Britney Spears from India

Happy — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 16:00:32 +0000

By bumping her coochie pie with Sandip Soparrkar, Britney Spears has officially reached a whole new bottom. WTF is she thinking? Why does she hook up with all those weird characters from Middle East and South West Asia? Plus look at that guy Sandip Soparrkar. He’s got “GAY” written all over his face. Are there not enough straight guys in the world for girls to hook yo with? I mean “HELLO”… I’m right here, have no pussy to stick my dick into and Britney Spears flies to India to spread her vagina for a gay loon? That’s fucking disturbing.

Sandip Soparrkar is a choreographer from Bollywood who put together Britney Spears’ Womanizer video. Sources say that Britney Spears met Sandip Soparrkar at a party thrown by Madonna – here’s another fine girl who wastes her vaginal juices on bumping some weird characters from weird parts of the world, WTF?

True love that developed between most famous vagina in Hollywood and gayest choreographer in Bollywood during filming of Womanizer had Britney Spears fly to India to deliver her vagina right to the bed of said Sandip Soparrkar. I bet he keeps pink dinos under his blankets he’s so gay. The most disturbing shit is, that Britney Spears sneaked out of Hollywood to rub her pussy on gay’s face without anyone noticing. They were bumping it in India and no paparazzi had fucking clue where she was.

To make things funnier, Britney Spears calls her new boyfriend Sandy. She’s obviously the man in the relationship, she puts on one of strap-ons from Sandip Soparrkar’s collection and butt fucks the Indian till the content of his prostate explodes through his dick. Duh!

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Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison Stoned at UK Premiere of Twilight

Happy — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 18:50:27 +0000

Actually, I don’t know for sure if they’re stoned out of their vaginas, but look at the pic.. That’s Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison, the stars from a big ass chick flick movie Twilight during movies UK Premiere. Don’t they look like they’ve just spent the evening puffing on a doobie and rubbing vaginas together? I’m sure Robert Pattison has a vagina. That being said, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kristen Stewart had a penis. Kristen looks pretty hot stoned though.

Or maybe it’s my pot that clouds my sight so I see all hot bitches as stoned. Too many Cuban cigars I had in Cuba, the smoke still keeps me afloat. And I did go to see Twilight. I actually liked it. Even though I feel that if there is one more chick flick that I like, I should grow a vagina. Maybe Robert Pattison can lend me his. Unless Kristen Stewart rubbed the crap out of it so it’s all worn and overused.

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Beer Steak Bullshit » Vagina

Five Women, Ten Vaginas with Tyra Banks

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Andes Teletransporter – We Need Those in Canada

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Duck Penis is a True Unfolding Monster (video)

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Miranda Kerr Hot Body Rules in Bikini Pictures for Victorias Secret

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Teri Hatcher Shaves Pussy (Triathlon Pics)

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Kendhal Beal – Doug Reinhardt Left Paris Hilton for This Plastic Ho

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Jason Trawick Hits Britney Spears in the Vagina Again

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Brittny Gastineau Near Nip Slip

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Sandip Soparrkar – New Boyfriend of Britney Spears from India

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Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison Stoned at UK Premiere of Twilight

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