Beer Steak Bullshit

Yeah, bitches got married. Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen have been bumping genitals like there’s no tomorrow and yesterday they sealed the deal and joined their genital juices exchange in holy matrimony.

That basically seals the deal with me and Gisele Bundchen. I’m no longer jacking off to that ho. Anyone who spreads their pussy for a dick of a football player is hands down dumb. I mean comon - sex with a football player is likely as exciting as football itself. Gisele was probably using sex with Tom Brady as nap time: “Hey dear, can come fuck me, I could use a little nap”!

According to reports, Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady got married at the St. Monica Catholic Church in Santa Monica, less than a mile from beach in a small and intimate ceremony on Thursday. Neither Tom Brady nor Gisele Bundchen had been married before. This is their first time. You can call them marriage virgins. Or n00bs if you rather. Gratz!

Justin Gaston, 20 year old underwear model and rumored boyfriend of teen virgin Miley Cyrus models in International Jock man’s underwear. Dude would make perfect emo kid.

Photos are from 2007, but Justin Gaston was a big nobody until he was spotted hanging around with Miley and photographed chaperoning her on the way to church. Miley says she’s a virgin anyway and we all believe her, cause she’s got that halo around her head.

Anyway, this post is gay.

Miley Cyrus is a Virgin! Ummm What? Purity Ring?

Miley Cyrus is so full of shit! She’s got it all confused and thinks we’re all dumb little whores, whereas it’s the other way around. Fox News published an article in which Miley Cyrus is cited saying that she wears a “purity ring as a testament to her virginity”. Ummm what? Seriously, Miley… What? Are you trying to tell me you’re a virgin? LMFAO

Miley, let’s get something straight here. If you’re a fucking virgin, then I’m actually funny. Hang on a sec, let me try this again. Miley Cyrus, if you’re a virgin, then Barack Obama will bring change.
Damn, that doesn’t work either. It’s just not my day, obviously. Actually, I got it. Technically she could still be a virgin. Taking double anal and leaving vaginal intercourse out still maintains your vaginal virginity, right. I take it all back, Miley Cyrus is a virgin. Nevermind hacked shower pics, they don’t necessarily mean she’s a slut, do they?

God that give me a headache. Miley, bring your virginity to me, I’ll fix you up. I’ll swap your purity ring with my man whore ring. I got one.