Tofu License Plate ILVTOFU Rejected for Double Meaning
April 9th, 2009
38 year old Kelly Coffman-Lee from Denver, Colorado says she’s a vegan who loves Tofu so much, she wanted a personalized license plate which would clearly express her love for tofu. Because number of letters you can put on a license plate is limited, Kelly Coffman-Lee abbreviated her originally intended “I LOVE TOFU” into ILVTOFU and applied for a vanity license plate with her local DMV (Division of Motor Vehicles). When DMV official saw the tofu license plate and put a big “rejected” sign on it because of possible double meaning. And rightly so.
According to Mark Couch, a spokesman for Colorado Department of Revenue, FU is not allowed on license plates as it can be misrepresented as “street language for sex”. That’s the way he put it, cause he needs to remain politically correct, I’d say it straight: “Bitch says she wants a tofu license plate but she just wants to let everyone know that she’s a horny cougar who wants to fuck”. It’s like re-living If You Seek Amy all over again, only on a smaller scale.
Seriously, I believe DMV made the right decision. Even though the reason they rejected the tofu license plate was because they have strict guidelines they have to follow. According to the officials, they regularly meet in order to make sure license plates are free of letters that abbreviate drug terms, gang slang or obscene phrases. So they really just followed their protocol when they rejected the ILVTOFU, but I read this Kelly Coffman-Lee like an open book and this is what I see:
Kelly Coffman-Lee is a 38 year old woman – in other words, she’s a horny cougar in heat. Her clit is probably size of boar penis with brain of its own and it’s constantly asking to get rubbed. Secondly – I don’t care how much you love tofu, I don’t care if all you ever eat is tofu, I don’t even care if you’re so fond of tofu you stick it up your vagina to masturbate with it. But nobody in the damn world ever wants a tofu license plate – a license plate which would say ILVTOFU – just because of your love for tofu. Regardless of how much you love tofu and how big a part of your life tofu is, nobody would ever want that expressed on their license plate. I’ve seen weird in my time, but nobody is this weird. This Kelly Coffman-Lee is simply one horny MILF who really needs to get it on at all times and love for good fuck is definitely a worthy cause for a vanity license plate. Love for tofu is NOT. It just happened that “I Love To Fuck You” abbreviates to ILVTOFU hence tofu came in as handy excuse. Well, surprise… it didn’t work for you, Kelly Coffman-Lee. You ain’t fooling anyone with that trickery!
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