Beer Steak Bullshit

So I haven’t been around much lately because I’m traveling around the world, but when the story of Cheerleader Desiree Jennings was brought to my attention, I lost all hope for humanity again. Do you people actually believe this story? Do you actually believe Desiree Jennings suffers from some “rare disorder” called Dystonia which she should have developed after getting a flu shot? While I can imagine flu shots can go wrong in all sorts of manner, why is it always a failed cheerleader of below average looks who believes she’s the next superstar but the stardom has been avoiding her that comes with gut wrenching story for publicity? Why is it not some normal girl who pulls publicity stunt of this kind?

I’m having hard time believing Desiree Jennings’ story no matter how much she tries to play nerve wrecking moves when she stops running. I can’t believe the news reporter is playing her game and doesn’t simply tell her to quit the bullshit and start acting like an adult she should be. Was he so taken aback by her below average looks he had to play a puppet on a string? That’s some seriously pathetic shit right there. Too many question marks in a simple equation. Desiree Jennings got her 5 minutes of fame. I’ll eat a cactus if her story is true and she actually suffered from real neurological disorder after that flu shot. Is Dystonia just a name for something doctor’s don’t even know what it is?

Video of bad acting skills on behalf of Desiree Jennings and a news reporter is below. Seems pretty pathetic to me, to be honest.

This cute timelapse video will answer the question that’s been on your mind forever – what do my cats do at home while I’m at work. The answer is in the video but let me spoil it for you – a big pile of nothing. They sleep, then sleep some more, then twitch and sleep on. Life of cats is this tough. Cute

I’m pretty sure this dude is not just drunk. He’s taken some good shit and it messed up with his head beyond reckoning. He clearly doesn’t mean any harm, but he’s fucked up too much and everything just twists before his eyes. Back in a day, drunk Russian on his epic quest to get home was the drunkest guy on the face of the planet, right now it is this guy in the convenience store.

This video, albeit long gave me countless LOLs. SO fucking funny it’s beyond words. He even has munchies and wants to send them away with beer so he correctly navigates to the isle with cold beer and initiates his quest to buy a box. He’s failing miserably but still remains pretty cool. Too drunk to achieve anything, though. Hilarious

Dolphins are the most bad ass animals. They always appear to smile and have skills that blow my mind. Did you know dolphins can sense when someone is pregnant, even if it’s a human and would protect such woman bearing a child as if she was bearing one of their own? Dolphins kick that much ass. In this video, a group of dolphins swim before the ship with some scientists and as there are jellyfish around, they casually send them afloat by smacking the crap out of them with their fins. Dolphins kicking jellyfish around like there’s no tomorrow. I love dolphins.

Everything released by Apple has been a FAIL! Every person using Apple products is a FAIL! But of all Apple’s failures, nothing shines as bright as iPhone. iPhone is the king of FAIL, unless you consider long lasting, ongoing FAIL of Macintosh computers. To add salt to the wound, Verizon has released an ad that mocks the crap out of iPhone. Everything iPhone iDon’t, Droid Does. Mocking iPhone like that gives Verizon and Droid Does extra brownie points, but even Droid Does failed in the fact that it’s powered by Google Android 2.0. Anything powered by Google Anything is bound to FAIL. Nevertheless, the Anti-iPhone ad by Verizon is pretty bad ass.

The following is what Motorola Droid Does, while iPhone iDon’t:

• iDon’t have a real keyboard
• iDon’t run simultaneous apps
• iDon’t take 5-megapixel pictures
• iDon’t customize
• iDon’t run widgets
• iDon’t allow open development
• iDon’t take pictures in the dark
• iDon’t have interchangeable batteries

EVerything iDon’t, Droid Does!

Canadian Globe and Mail newspaper published results of the study focused on discovering the most and the least stressful jobs as conducted by Erich Dierdorff – assistant professor of management at DePaul University. Without further ado, let’s get right down to the lists of both most stressful jobs and least stressful jobs:

List of Most Stressful Jobs

• Police officers
• Fire fighters
• Family or general practice physicians

List of Least Stressful Jobs

• Taxi drivers
• Insurance adjusters
• Bank tellers

By looking at the lists, you’re probably thinking the same I was thinking – yet another bullshit study that proved absolutely nothing. Just as majority of studies before. Or family or general practitioners I have known in my life took 6 week vacations 5 times a year. They work 4 day workweeks and come to work 2 hours late anytime they feel like. How is that effin stressful?

On the other hand taxi drivers often struggle to make ends meet and have to navigate in shitty traffic dealing with potential dangers of gang activities and pimping in the world outside. How is that not stressful? This study proved a big pile of shit.

The only thing potentially relevant about this study were the work/family conflicts. After studying people in 126 professions, Erich Dierdorff found that those from the most stressful job list faced much more conflicts in personal lives and those from least stressful jobs list faced the least conflicts in personal lives. The conclusion was that jobs with high levels of interaction contribute to increased stress levels yadda yadda, which basically makes entire study laughable because the jobs of the least stressful jobs list are all jobs that are based on constant interaction with others. All I can say about these lists is – FAIL!

Stressful Job Image by http://frixedairwave.deviantart.com/

Damn! Nicolas Cage owned the castle above and the only reason he lost it, was that he messed up on his taxes and the IRS hit him with heavy fines. Still it changes nothing on the fact that actors of questionable qualities such as Nicolas Cage are able to afford bad ass castles like the one in picture above only because unaware public keeps paying for movie theatre performances and DVD discs. We’re doomed!

Nicolas Cage castle photo by Fame Pictures

Ashley Greene stirred some waters around herself with naked pictures she leaked of herself on the internet. To proceed with more publicity, she deployed a lawyer who started threatening everyone who posted the naked pics back and forth so now everyone knows there are naked pictures of Ashley Greene somewhere out there. Since Beer Steak Blog is a work safe blog, I did not participate in mass posting of these nude shots. Instead I come at you with follow up to her naked pics – Ashley Greene looking all hot posing for Men’s Fitness magazine (who in the hell reads men’s fitness magazines?).

Without further ado, the gallery of photos of the Twilight starlet is below. Ashley Greene does look smoking in all of them, even though they are as it goes – photoshopped. She’s a hottie.

This is it! Michael Jackson is releasing new songs even though he’s dead. It all seems like a perfect plan. When millions of dollars are in play, mind games for general public that’s so easy to deceive are obvious. It’s smart economics is all. The news of his death took away the focus from potential child molesting and put back the label of the king of pop. Album sales are soaring ultimately eliminating growing debt Michael Jackson had to put up with during his “officially alive” days. After so many plastic surgeries, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had undergone one more – a surgery to cut off his penis and paste on vagina. The he’d be able to move to the Arabic country and wear scarf covering his entire face except from the eyes. No one would question which that “woman” covers the shit out of her face so he could live undisturbed and negative publicity free.

Michael Jackson This Is It music video is below:

Everybody hated me for calling Pink old the other day so I’m setting the record straight – Pink is NOT old. She’s still sexy as all hell and tight like an 18 year old Vietnamese girl. She can probably also lift 14 kg glass balls with her vagina. Or maybe she has a penis skilfully tucked inside her ass and keeps it a secret that only her husband of two times knows about it.

Needless to say, these pictures are heavily photoshopped to perfection. Pink probably is not that tight anymore but was made look that way. Cary Hart, Pink’s husband deployed his wifey to model for his clothing line cause it’s basically worthless and having Pink wear it would be the only way for anyone to buy it.

Even though Pink is not old, she’s not 15 anymore either. Posing in pink underwear when you’re 30 is lame any way you spin it. Gallery of pictures with Pink wearing clothes by Cary Hart is below: