Sad News: Fat and Ugly Mariah Carey Didn’t Fall All the Way on Jay Leno

November 4th, 2009

Sad News: Fat and Ugly Mariah Carey Didn't Fall All the Way on Jay Leno

Mariah Carey – the ugliest skank in show-business and the clumsiest attention whore who makes each of her video clips to her worthless music about herself posing up like a 4 year old girl in front of the mirror had a moment on Jay Leno show but unfortunately managed to balance herself up and not fall. Given that Mariah Carey is all kept together by all forms of sticky tapes, should she hale fallen, there would be unidentified pieces of plastic and flesh sent adrift through Lay Leno’s studio. Sadly, she didn’t fall.

I didn’t watch the whole video (seen below), only her failed introduction which is funny enough. No need to spend 8 minutes watching her ugly mug slap around like she’s relevant or shit. It would have been plenty of hilarious if she fell mug first like a fat sack of potatoes she is and splattered on the floor but fairies of fair treatment were on vacation so she collected herself mid trembling. There’s always next time.

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Copy of the Bill of Russian Billionaire Roman Abramovich from Nelly’s in New York ($47,000)

November 3rd, 2009

Copy of the Bill of Russian Billionaire Roman Abramovich from Nelly’s in New York ($47,000)

Have you ever wondered what rich people eat and drink when they enter poshy establishments in metropolitan cities? Well, now you can find out. Pictured above is the copy of the bill Russian billionaire and the owner of Chelsea Football Club – Roman Abramovich paid during his stop at Nelly’s in New York.

The $47,000 bill Roman Abramovich picked up covered food and drink for himself and five friends. Most of the items are not that bad, just with upscale establishment prices ($27 for a capuccino), the bil grew into tens of thousands of dollars with bottles of expensive wines. Roman Abramovich won’t drink just about any wine, he must have La Tache Romanee Conti, a wine that costs $5000 per bottle. To keep the mood going, the party got additional two bottles of Chateau Petrus, another expensive wine that costs $5k per bottle and then there are also two bottles of Crystal Rose Magnum which are just as expensive. Must have been nice being a waiter who got Roman Abramovich and his people to serve to. 20% gratuity ended up being over $7000.

Source: BuzzFeed

EDIT:

Beer Steak Blog has been notified about the following:

This bill did not belong to Roman Abramovich. He and his party spent only about 3% of this amount in that restaurant. Furthermore, he and his party of 5 (half of whom do not drink) did not order 6 bottles of alcohol for an 75-minute lunch.

We apologize for publishing incorrect information.

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Barack Obama Doesn’t Need a Costume for Halloween (watch the video)

November 1st, 2009

This video is so accurate it’s scary. Just some collection of images that makes for a whole in which Barack Obama and his wife Michelle Obama don’t seem to need a costume for Halloween. They just need to take off the costumes they use throughout the year to masquerade themselves as people. The mask behind which Barack Obama hides every day keeps the real him from being seen. Halloween is over, Mr. Barack Obama, let’s see that pretty face now!

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Alessandra Ambrosio Nowhere Near as Hot as Miranda Kerr

October 30th, 2009

Hot Photo of Alessandra Ambrosio in Bikini for Victorias Secret

While Alessandra Ambrosio is a pretty hot piece of ass and looks smoking in the bikini for Victoria’s Secret, she didn’t blow me off my socks as much as Miranda Kerr yesterday. These are just some paparazzi pictures, not officially released Victoria Secret photos of Alessandra Ambrosio which may be the reason why.

Brazilian chicks never did it for me. They lack cuteness. It’s all mass sexism, no girl next door cuteness in Brazil. Victoria’s Secret clearly has some marketing plans behind their belt which would explain why there are so many leaked pictures of their top models in bikini lately. Must have something to do with upcoming Christmas season. Enjoy the pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio if you like Brazilian ass in the gallery below:

Alessandra Ambrosio Pictures by FamePictures.com

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iDon’t Care Response to Droid Does by Loser Apple Fanboys

October 29th, 2009

Just when you thought loser Apple fanboys couldn’t get any more moronic, they’ve managed to outdo themselves. Again! As failed response to complete pwnage of iPhones by Droid Does, small dick losers also known as desperate owners of Apple products pulled a miserable attempt at letting everyone know that even though they are stuck with biggest piece of shit made by failed company, they are gonna keep shoving it up their lose anal cavity cause once a fanboy, always a loser.

The biggest FAIL of the iDon’t Care failure is the part where it says “iDon’t buy brands that bash other brands.” ROTFLMFAO – you failed loser of a fanboy. Apple can’t make a working product so they are unable to offer any highlights of it in their ads. As a result each Apple ad is about bashing other products. What’s that failed Mac retard’s name again from Apple’s ads? Justin Long or something? And you’re gonna tell me you don’t buy brands that bash other brands? Effin loser. Like I would expect something more sophisticated from Mac fanboy!

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Miranda Kerr Hot Body Rules in Bikini Pictures for Victorias Secret

October 29th, 2009

Miranda Kerr Hot Body Rules in Bikini Pictures for Victoria Secret

I love chicks who have big gap between their thighs. Any woman who puts her legs together and you would still fit your fist between her thighs because her general vaginal area is that wide are the poop. Chicks like that have well developed pubic bone and make for excellent bumper when thrusting missionary style. Miranda Kerr is like that. While any hot vagina model who poses for Victorias Secret loses browney points for being a Victoria Secret model, it does pay for something being able to see the uber gap between her thighs.

Miranda Kerr’s hot body rules even though I don’t particularly care for her face. I’ve never noticed it until the last minute. That bikini body rules the shite though. Nice, tight little ass and flat stomach – how can you go wrong?

Gallery of pictures featuring Miranda Kerr and her hot body that rules in Victoria’s Secret bikini is below:

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Giuliano Stroe – 5 Year Old Body Builder from Romania

October 28th, 2009

Giuliano Stroe - 5 Year Old Body Builder from Romania

Giuliano Stroe is a 5 year old kid from Romania (yes, that’s where Dracula’s Castle is located) who is in the Guinness Book of Worlds Records for his unsurpassed hand walking skills. Despite his age, the 5 year old body builder Giuliano Stroe sports a six pack most grown men can’t show. He probably can’t even read yet (not sure at what age the kids start to go to school in Romania) and his name is already in the Guinness Book of Worlds Records and that’s not because he was born into something. He’s there because of hard work he put towards his body building.

I’m not an expert on child development, but I’d say it’s a bit early to put a preschool kid through weight lifting training, but who cares, really. By the time Giuliano Stroe grows pubic hair he’ll be famous enough to get any vagina he wants and if he keeps it up with the six pack, he’s gonna have ladies sit on him like flies of bucket of honey. If early age body building cripples Giuliano Stroe up in an older age, he won’t give a poop anyway. The point is to eff as much pussy as one can while he still can. Giuliano Stroe’s gonna get a lot of it and pretty soon. Keep it up kid. You’ll be glad you did.

The video of Giuliano Stroe, the 5 Year Old Body Builder from Romania that took off on the internet and made the kid the most popular viral thing for a few days is below:

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Cheerleader Desiree Jennings and her Dystonia Bullshit Flu Shot Story

October 26th, 2009

Cheerleader Desiree Jennings and her Dystonia Bullshit Flu Shot Story

So I haven’t been around much lately because I’m traveling around the world, but when the story of Cheerleader Desiree Jennings was brought to my attention, I lost all hope for humanity again. Do you people actually believe this story? Do you actually believe Desiree Jennings suffers from some “rare disorder” called Dystonia which she should have developed after getting a flu shot? While I can imagine flu shots can go wrong in all sorts of manner, why is it always a failed cheerleader of below average looks who believes she’s the next superstar but the stardom has been avoiding her that comes with gut wrenching story for publicity? Why is it not some normal girl who pulls publicity stunt of this kind?

I’m having hard time believing Desiree Jennings’ story no matter how much she tries to play nerve wrecking moves when she stops running. I can’t believe the news reporter is playing her game and doesn’t simply tell her to quit the bullshit and start acting like an adult she should be. Was he so taken aback by her below average looks he had to play a puppet on a string? That’s some seriously pathetic shit right there. Too many question marks in a simple equation. Desiree Jennings got her 5 minutes of fame. I’ll eat a cactus if her story is true and she actually suffered from real neurological disorder after that flu shot. Is Dystonia just a name for something doctor’s don’t even know what it is?

Video of bad acting skills on behalf of Desiree Jennings and a news reporter is below. Seems pretty pathetic to me, to be honest.

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Time-lapse Video of the Life Cats Have While You Are at Work

October 23rd, 2009

This cute timelapse video will answer the question that’s been on your mind forever – what do my cats do at home while I’m at work. The answer is in the video but let me spoil it for you – a big pile of nothing. They sleep, then sleep some more, then twitch and sleep on. Life of cats is this tough. Cute

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Video of the Drunkest Guy on Earth Buying Beer at the Convenience Store

October 19th, 2009

I’m pretty sure this dude is not just drunk. He’s taken some good shit and it messed up with his head beyond reckoning. He clearly doesn’t mean any harm, but he’s fucked up too much and everything just twists before his eyes. Back in a day, drunk Russian on his epic quest to get home was the drunkest guy on the face of the planet, right now it is this guy in the convenience store.

This video, albeit long gave me countless LOLs. SO fucking funny it’s beyond words. He even has munchies and wants to send them away with beer so he correctly navigates to the isle with cold beer and initiates his quest to buy a box. He’s failing miserably but still remains pretty cool. Too drunk to achieve anything, though. Hilarious :D

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