Beer Steak Bullshit

Funniest Craigslist Ad yet! Mom’s beloved son went off to college so she’s trying to sell some of the stuff she found in his room, such as this, Large Fist Paperweight. Now that her son is gone, mom should explore new sexual practices with the milkman or the postman. She may be able to find out what black fist made of floppy silicone rubber is for. Good she never caught her son’s unflushed poop in the toilet. She’d be surprised with its girth, after having fist sized dildo up his ass. Funny as hell!

Did you know that Lewis Carroll whose real name is Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (Lewis Carroll is a pen name), author of famous Alice in Wonderland story is believed to have been a pedo pervert who felt attracted to underage girls and never had an adult partner? At one point Lewis Carroll also got into photography and while majority of his photos got lost, some were retrieved and at least half of them contain photographs of underage girls (around the age of 8 years – way before they’d developed breasts and pubic hair) in various stages of undress, including full or partial nudity. Yep, one of the most popular children stories may have been written by a man who was a pedophile and a pervert. At least based on contemporary societal rules.

The 2010 Alice in Wonderland movie directed by Tim Burton and starring Mia Wasikowska and Johnny Depp (among others) is already playing in the movie theaters near you and is cashing in big time. It’s a Disney movie (meaning it’s work safe and suitable for kids) based on a story by the writer who may have been much closer to the kids that we care to admit. Lewis Carroll a Pedo? No way, right? I know, I know… it’s me who’s a pervert, not Lewis Carroll?

History shows us that some of the greatest minds of our past have been pedophiles (by current values). We can go as far back as Greek Philosophers or as close as Michael Jackson. If you read religious books, you will find many references to important men being married to 14 year old girls. Prophet Muhammad married his favorite wife Aisha when she was 13, but may have had sexual relationship with her when she was as young as 8 (favorite age of Lewis Carroll). It’s funny how world perceives the same thing differently as the time passes by. At one time, sticking your glands into a virgin vagina of an 8 year old would have been perfectly fine, but now it isn’t.

Either way, if a particular person delivered something extraordinary that’s remembered for a long time, their “transgressions” are somehow forgotten (or forgiven). In other words, it’s all right for a person to be a pedophile and a pervert, for as long as they have created something that people like. Such as one of the most popular kid stories of all times. Afterall, had Lewis Carroll lived in the 21st century, Alice in Wonderland would never come to be because if 10 year old naked girls are what he needed to get inspired and write such magnificent story, then denying or imprisoning him for contact with such would prevent him from writing it.

Alice in Wonderland 2010 trailer is below:

Dutch fellow Jan likes Michael Jackson a lot. So he auditioned to be a part of Move Like Michael Jackson show in Holland. The video above is the dance he pulled at his audition and I have to say I agree with the judges (I admire their politeness in this matter). Jan definitely has a passion for Michael Jackson and his dance was a sincere shot at the show. He needs to learn how not to stare at his feet but look at the audience instead, cause that’s the first sign that you are lost. Pros know that their feet must do the job without the dancer looking at them. Jan failed at that.

Regardless, judges had some supportive words to say to Jan even though he was told “No” by all of them. I give young fellow a thumb up for trying. You go Jan, believe in yourself. You can do it

Yes, Lady Gaga has saggy breasts. Shocked? I’m not. I’m only shocked that so many of you are falling for her marketing game. She’s got you all fooled and I’m on the bandwagon only because whole society follows. I’ve tried though, I have to admit. When everyone started buzzing about Lady Gaga, I pulled out the photos, pulled out my junk and started jerking off but it didn’t work. How can someone get excited over saggy breasts of such epic proportions. At least we know she doesn’t have a penis – which is sort of apparent from the set of pictures… unless she found a way to skillfully tuck it in her ass so well that it literally disappears from view.

Lady Gaga is like Megan Fox – not so perfect anymore. While Megan Fox has toe thumbs, Lady Gaga has saggy breasts. But it doesn’t end there. On top of that she’s also a terrible musician, awful piano player, sucky songwriter and a lame dancer. Yet still, she’s admired and jerked off to. I must be missing something. Those saggy breasts must be keeping me confused.

Photo infestation of saggy breasts mounted on Lady Gaga’s chest in the gallery below. Yuck!

Photos of Lady Gaga and her saggy breasts by Fame Pictures

What is it with closeted homosexuals who go out of their way to hide which way they’re swinging? Gay people are generally accepted nowadays so what’s with that masquerade where you get married to a woman and join scientology even though it’s beyond doubt that you’re gay all about? Pictured above is John Travolta. The pictures were taken after the actor was done having a dinner with a male friend. Somehow all that dining made him so excited he exited the building with his zipper down. Such embarrassing moment happened to each of us at least once in their life so there’s not much to it, but I can’t wait for the day when John Travolta comes out of the closet and admit that he’s gay. Or maybe he could simply play it safe and say he was bi. Issue solved

Below is the gallery of pictures of John Travolta with his zipper down after an intermezzo with a buddy:

John Travolta Zipper Down Photos by Pacific Coast News

Meet 8 year old Laura Fontana from Brazil (also called Laura Montana – I don’t know which one is right). There is no knowing what Laura Fontana would like to become one day but one thing is for sure – she’s already got some good role models to follow – Lady GaGa. To take advantage of her age, mother of Laura Fontana put black lipstick on her daughter and threw her on stage of a Brazilian TV Talent Show without pants to sing songs and strike slutty moves of Lady GaGa. I’ve never heard any Lady GaGa’s song but is this what her music sounds like? Cause that would explain her try hard extravagant fashion attempts. She’s got to do something to draw attention to herself cause her music won’t. It’s not like Marilyn Manson – he also liked to draw attention onto himself by being extravagant and shocking, but his music kicked ass. Lady GaGa – if that’s your music… well, I’ll just shut up for now.

If you live anywhere in North America and decide to watch the video of said 8 Year Old Laura Fontana doing Lady GaGa on Brazilian TV Talent Show, you best make sure you have a powerful on line behavior traces eliminator. You wouldn’t want Chris Hansen walking into your room, asking you to take a seat over there. Santa of Brazilian Hill Tribe can afford to hug and kiss her, because they have no law or order in Brazil, but don’t even think about going that far in North America.

I’m pretty positive Lady GaGa will jump on the opportunity and board the next plane to Brazil to meet with Laura Fontana. Her music sucks so she must do something that will draw attention and coming to meet an 8 year old who chose that piece of trash for her idol sounds like a solid idea. All pedo bears aside, this is some serious PR. I could be a public relations manager of any star. I’d know what to do to get them media talking. Meantimely, can someone unslut Laura Fontana? She’s only 8 year old for Christ The Redeamer’s sake! Video of all that fuckery involving 8 Year Old Laura Fontana doing Lady GaGa on Brazilian TV Talent Show is below:

We all know that the only reason people watch figure skating are a plethora of open crotch shots of slender female figure skaters. So when a solo male figure skater steps on the ice, there is a guarantee it’s going to be boring. That was not the case of retired American figure skater Scott Williams who took the whole thing to a brand new level and upgraded otherwise boring performances on ice to a grunge powered, teen spirit impaired Nirvana madness. Much props to Scott Williams for having balls to deliver next generation figure skating beats. The video of Scott Williams doing Smell Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana on ice is below:

Attention whore extraordinaire also known to some as Kate Gosselin will be on TV again. She made it! Yes, Kate Gosselin will be a star in the 2010 edition of Dancing with the Stars. Full line up of “Dancing with the Stars” stars was revealed last night after grand finale of The Bachelor. And since the “Who is on Dancing with the Stars 2010″ question is killing you, let me get right down to it. So without further ado, below is the full list of failed stars who will get one more chance to get on TV:

• Kate Gosselin – irritating fame whore who would make even the likes of Lindsay Lohan blush
• Pamela Anderson – owner of nastiest fake tits and overused expert in fake orgasms vagina
• Nicole Scherzingerorhwatever – failed pussy cat queef
• Chad Ochocinco – hand egger with small dick
• Jake Pavelka – LULz The Bachelor who just picked Vienna something to be his pickle licker
• Brenda Walsh – she’s still alive?
• Aiden Turner – All My Children kid
• Neicy Nash – Reno 911 ho
• Erin Andrews – thanks for the peep hole video
• Evan Lysacek – gay figure skater
• Buzz Aldrin – Apollo 11 astronaut

So there you have it, the cast of Dancing with the Stars 2010. Are you gonna watch the grace, cause I’m not.

Just as you thought the music industry was dwindling and nothing worthy of your time was being released, a dude by the name of Wilbur Sargunaraj enters the scene and wipes off the competition as soon as the first words run through autotuner start off the song. Love Marriage is a true masterpiece of the music industry and the video that accompanies it is the work of sheer genius.

If you are an unlucky owner of a Dell computer, you probably already know Mr. Wilbur Sargunaraj. You may never have met him, but if you have ever called Dell customer support, you would have dealt with that exact Indian accent.

While Love Marriage is without doubt a gem and Wilbur Sargunaraj is the king of dance pop music, I can’t help but notice that the less talented you are, the more popularity you gain across the interweb. Real artists are called fakes while beauty contest winners like Maxine Swaby or intense singers like Mark Gormley get unlimited exposure. Damn, internet rocks.

Wilbur Sargunaraj Love Marriage Music Video is below. Prepare to be awe-struck:

South American country of Chile was hit by a massive 8.8-magnitude earthquake on February 27, 2010. This is a set of photos documenting the devastating effects of the Earthquake in Chile but I fear that even though Chile was struck much harder than Haiti, they will not see as much international help because unlike Haiti, Chile doesn’t base their existence on looking poor and whining.

An 8.8-magnitude earthquake is an extremely powerful shake. The epicenter of the earthquake was only a little more than 300 kilometers from Santiago de Chile – nation’s capital city and 115 kilometers Chile’s second-largest city Concepcion. The earthquake destroyed the infrastructure affecting many areas, including Santiago which was left in darkness while buildings and bridges around were collapsing. Many areas were flooded and ocean resorts wiped off the face of the planet after tsunami evoked by the earthquake mercilessly struck the coastline.

Below is the gallery of photos documenting the devastating effects of the 8.8 magnitude earthquake in Chile. It’s a horrible tragedy.

Photos from various sources collected by Boston.com Big Picture.